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gratefulstash:

thebest-memes:

"No matter how bad you fuck up at work, you didn’t fucked up this bad"

he dead

MAN, I gotta comment on this because I drive a forklift at my job, and I’ve bumped a few shelves like this in my day.
First of all, this guy had to be going pretty fast for that shelf to bend in like that. Those shelves are sturdy as fuck, and they’re designed to take some abuse (trust me, I have tapped ‘em before).
Secondly, that shelf clearly was not designed to handle that amount of weight. It shouldn’t have caved in that easily.
Third, look at the other forklift driver in the top right— he fucking bails like a champ. I wonder if he made it out OK… 

autodidactsloth replied to your post:lessons from last night: the what I learned 2 nights ago on my 21st birthday edition

I’m so sorry I didn’t stop Elijah oh my god

The next day/morning actually wasn’t that bad (I felt like I never wanted to drink again, but that feeling will pass… probably). I feel like everyone has to have a sloppy drunk 21st birthday. It’s like a rite of passage.

lessons from last night: the what I learned 2 nights ago on my 21st birthday edition
  • Never shoot whiskey. It is an awful experience that will burn your esophagus, stomach lining, and soul.
  • If someone orders you a Prairie Fire, punch them in the face.
  • Trash Cans are delicious. Chuck Norris-es are also delicious.
  • DO NOT DRINK OVER 12 or 13 SHOTS WORTH OF ALCOHOL IN TWO-HOURS, IT IS SUCH A FUCKING MISTAKE (I already knew this, but it is a lesson worth repeating)
  • Keep a bucket in your car if you are driving around someone on the night of their 21st birthday. (You will not regret this decision! You will regret NOT bringing one with you though.) [P.S. I’M SORRY, ELIJAH]
  • Drink lots of water. And space out your shots/drinks. (AGAIN, I already knew this, but it is yet another lesson that bears repeating for those who don’t know.]
  • BEING 21 IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN BEING UNDER 21, OH MY GOD
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I made a .GIF of Old Faithful erupting from some pics I took last weekend.It’s a little shaky but HEY LOOK AT THIS MAMA GOOOOOO
You don’t even have to go to Yellowstone now, you have lived the experience (sans the awful sulfur smell).
"   AGAMEMNON: all of you will swear allegiance to me
ACHILLES: [skateboards by] who the fuck is this clown?   "
-"dirtbag illiad" (via luciphere)

sosa-parks:

Everyday I’m like “today imma get my shit together” and by the end of the day I’m like “tomorrow is the day for real”

make me choose emilybrowninng asked

mary jane watson or gwen stacy?


Jedi: May the force be with you
Catholic Jedi: And also with you

A few things I need to vent about:
- I just got out of work at 2 AM. I have a 9 AM class. This is bullshit.
- Classes started last week for the Fall semester at my uni. My schedule is great (aside from my job being fucking stupid and not letting me out at a decent time), the classes are good, and my labs should be tolerable. There’s a lot more to it than that— I’ll maybe write a post about my complicated academic life later.
- The new roommate does not pick up after himself, and he generates too many dirty dishes. This is grounds for murder. Also, he’s a superficial asshat, with an incredibly vapid personality, and a general douche-aura.

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“You know how sports teach kids teamwork and how to be strong and brave and confident? Improv was my sport. I learned how to not waffle and how to hold a conversation, how to take risks and actually be excited to fail.”
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UNFROSTED POPTARTS ARE PURE HELLLIKE HEY LETS MAKE A “BREAKFAST” PASTRY THING THAT DRIES OUT YOUR WHOLE FUCKING MOUTHAND IT’LL TASTE LIKE A COMMUNION WAFER TOOSOUNDS GREAT, BOB! AND BY THAT I MEAN FUCK YOU, BOBYOU ASS

z1c:

being 20+ on tumblr

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